In Reeducation you were wrong. You were guilty of evil doing, and you were also a victim of evil doing by others. Not to be victimized was to exert inappropriate amounts of control, and not to be guilty was to be “in denial.”
I went to Reeducation to learn how to deal with abusive people, although I did not know enough at the time to know how to name this problem. What I learned in fact was that it was inappropriate for me to have as much education as I had or as good a job as I had, and to be as independent and competent as I was, and as happy. It all had to be false somehow. I was a liar.
Health was accepting abuse and its results: self doubt, self hatred, immobility, rules, striving for relief that would never come, self criticism about having failed to create conditions in which such relief might be given. Health was learning to accept conditions in — well, a 16th century Carmelite prison, perhaps?
I mean, really — it was ridiculous and I am amazed at how many people told me it was not. It was “really true” and this was how the “real world” worked, they said. Those things are simply false.