I can do outdoor painting with no trouble, but the oily sealant I finally found to put on the porch caused an allergic reaction costing $111 and a few bad days, as we know.
Then, in a moment of madness, I started painting the kitchen, which gave me the reactions listed above in addition to a general feeling of irrationality.
I painted a wall as an experiment and liked it, so I continued. Then I realized that it had been a design error from the point of view of the whole house to consider painting the rest of the kitchen. The dark wood in it is dark and the stain and sealant need refinishing, but they match what is in the rest of the house and give it elegance and continuity. I had not articulated my 12 years of hesitancy about changing the look of the kitchen walls in this way before embarking upon it, and it is a mistake.
Now I am faced with stripping and refinishing what is done. I feel rather sure would prefer that to the alternative — continuing to paint. However, all of this is a lot of work and it is very discouraging, and I am definitely not cut out physically for indoor painting jobs.
I always feel somewhat insane when doing them, which is why I put them off and have trouble garnering the patience to do a good job. I used to think that was a lack of discipline but I think it is how the products used make me feel.
I do use gloves and safety goggles, and open the doors and windows. I have not yet tried a mask but it is what I will try on my next attempt.
In the meantime I have netted a kitchen that looks terrible, a big job ahead at an inconvenient time, a great deal of stress, and some information.
I do not like looking at the kitchen in its current state because it appears to me to be the result of some strange form of self mutilation. This, I realize, is a melodramatic reaction and probably not very helpful. I put it up to the strange irrationality I feel around open containers of paint and sealant.
I would like to summon a professional to fix this but there is no way. I am reminding myself that the rest of the house is calm and civilized, that there are strippers which will work and I will learn how to refinish wood, which is needed in the rest of the house as well.
I am, however, distressed for this and related reasons.