Word a tu rechingada madre

Over 100 degree programs in this state will be cut in the coming year, says the newspaper. It is time to mail presents, work Jazzfest, decide where to take the LSAT, register, visit Death Row, and see a passion play at the Louisiana State Penitentiary at Angola. Clean house, clear out files, sell books, chop down yard, patch exterior paint, do organic harvest, go to New Orleans, service car.

Clear out office. Spackle, sand, prime, paint; put hard wax on floors, reconfigure connections for machines. Then: manicure, pedicure, facial; swim, sauna, massage. Go somewhere for Memorial Day and study for the LSAT, if I plan to take it June 6. Do you think I can accomplish all of this by then?

*

I want a current LSAT score just to be moving in the right direction. If you are working a labor intensive academic job with semesters ending in May the June date is the only viable time to take the LSAT, because the test is Saturday morning and my brain is not focused enough Saturdays during the academic year. I always hit the 80th percentile and it is inadequate. I want more. So it’s this year or next, that is the question.

Originally I was going to take it June 26 in México D.F. which would have been excellent. Now it is June 6 there, as in the US, and I cannot get to Mexico. I do not plan to go to actually use my LSAT score immediately, not this coming academic year and probably not the following, so perhaps I should just wait and implement the Mexico plan in 2012.

*

My mind is clearer now than it his been since about 1991. I am in a working kind of mode and to me working never means getting introverted. Really I am so business oriented it is a complete shame, especially in a Marxian like me (yes, Marxian, I cannot help it). But I do not want to waste the LSAT registration fees and I am not sure which is the best US location psychically to take this test.

If I do not take it perhaps I will write an institutional grant for the 2011-12 cycle, set up a business, heavily plan all courses through FA 12 so as to come on strong, write different kinds of resumés, meet with appropriate entities, work out a lot, investigate think tank jobs. I am so tired of waiting for my life to begin; I want to start it now.

*

I learned the first semester of professordom that the key to survival was to turn a blind eye to mistreatment by well connected freshmen and not to publish anything that will make others envious. And I say that while these things may not be true generally, if they are true at your institution and you go to work every day, then they are real.

I am not saying that I am not interested in my research projects or that I am, necessarily, really leaving. I am just saying I am really tired of silliness. Don’t do it, you will have to take examinations and publish; don’t do it, there are no jobs; don’t do that either, you are 35 and too old to get another kind of job; you are not in Kansas any more, Dorothy, don’t don’t don’t. Don’t do it. But I am a devil from the University of All Devils, and I will.

Axé.

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4 Comments

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4 responses to “Word a tu rechingada madre

  1. Historiann said it today: “do whatever the hell you want to do, because the fact of the matter is that there’s always someone who will find fault with your decisions.”

    Do what will make you happy. This life is not a dress rehearsal.

  2. Z

    Ah, but my life is not my own — it is dedicated to not upsetting a certain entity! That is to say, I am not a grownup!
    *
    The larger point — my reason for wanting to leave academia when I began to want to leave for my own reasons, and not just as a pose, has always been that it seemed I could not be an adult in it. One is always being admonished, waiting for approval. I am tired of being in this position of non authority and in particular, I am tired of the fact that the freshmen, the instructors and the VAPs have so much control over the lives of the PhDs in the two places I worked the longest.
    *
    Playing the lottery, banking on possibilities — if I write this, saying that, and it is published here, then perhaps I might have a chance at that job, there, if there is budget at that time, and on and on. One is like some sort of dependent economy or client state, with hobbling levels of foreign debt.
    *
    The hero of the novel MIAU, waiting for a job, this is who I feel like. Authority is what I want and this post is about taking it.

  3. Pingback: Nostradamus Future Predictions

  4. Z

    But if you really take control of your life as it is NOW, you don’t feel nearly as much like you’re playing the lottery.

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