Ingredients for 1 white Hispanic man, 45 years of age:
1 fussy lady, 75 years of age
1 fractious adolescent male, 12-17 years of age
1 mold, man size and shape
Put both ingredients in blender; blend until the mixture is even and smooth. Pour into mold; bake until done. As soon as he cools and stands up, the white Hispanic man will demand a great deal of care and will also initiate a great deal of high school style intrigue.
Take quinine and wear a body condom, because this creature will do whatever he can to force you into a maternal role.