I really have spent years in frozen silence over these and similar non-issues, unable to think entirely clearly because I had been essentially hit over the head. With every new indiscretion about this I improve, so this weblog will be very outrageous for at least the rest of this week.
My trauma here at Vichy State (N.B. Vichy State is a post-apocalyptic agglomeration of Louisiana public institutions located in Port Allen, LA, which is why I moved to Maringouin, up from New Orleans after Katrina) — my trauma here at Vichy State has to do with assistant professors, instructors, and textbook representatives having decided before my arrival that I would surely be interested in the first year program and take one of their sides in a war or start my own, and the department chair’s having told me that to mediate in that situation was key for me and was my job, and my watching people who did not in fact mediate well enough, lose jobs. I simply could not believe that any leader would allow this to happen, much less foment it. At the same time I could see that it really was happening and in a very, very serious way.
Another key trauma has to do with assistant professors shouting and crying at my first job. These foolish Easterners, Southerners and Spaniards were desperate for social life and did not know how to get to know a new city; instead they stirred up strife among themselves so they would have an excuse to get on the phone.
Everyone, everywhere, was also shouting about how we must go faster and faster, hurry up, leave our lazy ways, move faster. I have never liked the assumption and projection that I am not going fast enough, I am already fast and I hate to hurry. I have been hounded to rush occasionally by second rate minds and poor dressers who did not know me since the middle of graduate school. But the endlessly ugly assistant and full professors existing East of the Mississippi, who should be speaking for themselves and taking some of their own medicine, are the ones who most natter and shout about rushing and the fact that you must suffer. I hope they are suffering now, those incompetent Yankee and low-down Confederate fools who say things like, “You could not know how to work because you are from California.”
I have been far too kind about these things and as you can see, I have a great deal of anger about them and the toll they took upon my life — one I could not see a way to avoid paying, at the time. I have decided to broadcast this and insult entire swaths of overprivileged and overrepresented cultural groups on this blog, because it makes me far more capable in daily life to say what I actually think of both Eastern American and Western European academics, ridiculous personages that they are, somewhere, in an exaggerrated fashion.