Despite often keeping myself up late at night I do not actually suffer from insomnia — I am one of those rock hard sleepers.
But now I am concerned that my stage manager may have been fired, with his stage hands.
This is like having someone not make tenure and having their graduate students go down with them.
People in positions of power and knowledge begin to suck their teeth, and you know. And they begin to repeat rumors, and they also repeat what comes to be common “wisdom.”
And then you know that that project, even if it is the best project, is slated for removal.
And you are concerned for them but also for the loss to the institution their departure will represent.
And if your own interest in the institution is informed in part by the presence within it of their project —
And if you are powerless to change these facts, as I am — although you may have a chance to try some time —
It wakes you up at night, and that is it.