Ce que je ferai / White Rabbit

The issue, we decided last night, was finding a technology whereby to make life in Maringouin consistently bearable enough so as to be able to consistently work. The problem is the amount of energy that goes toward making things bearable, and the fact that efforts in this regard do not produce a reliable enough result. There is always something or someone who throws things off … and we are competent, adaptable people who have not had this problem before.

The problem is you, not the environment, we have heard, and we have tried that on. We should be able to be happy anywhere, especially if we have our work. But even if this made sense, even if we as beings were this ethereal, one of Maringouin’s problems, precisely, is that we do not have our work (although we are alleged to have it, which makes things yet more vertiginous).

I have said this before but one failing in my technologies of improvement is that I design very ambitious programs for living. I will live as I lived there, or there, modifying for here, I promise the world … and I am asking too much of myself. The other failing is having listened to too much academic advice from undisciplined people, who are trying to learn discipline and are therefore on a kind of diet with space and time. One is told one must become yet more monastic, when really what one needs is to increase pleasure.

What I can do in this regard is to have in mind a grand design, perhaps, but not to focus on it but rather, on to very small goals — research first, even if it is only for half an hour. Exercise next, again even if it is only for half an hour. More of both can be done later, but the tone must be set. Stand in my own authority on everything. Quit at the same time each evening and do something entertaining and relaxing. Go to sleep early.

I would like to be gone every weekend as some people are but I cannot afford it. Something I could benefit from scheduling strictly, is in fact time elsewhere. The orientation that helps me get more done is not discipline, organization, renunciation — I have enough of these — but pleasure and the importance of feeding your head with the intellectual and artistic delights that in fact make one the person one is expected, even paid to be.




Filed under Da Whiteman, Resources, Songs, Theories, What Is A Scholar?

7 responses to “Ce que je ferai / White Rabbit

  1. Vero

    “The orientation that helps me get more done is not discipline, organization, renunciation — I have enough of these — but pleasure and the importance of feeding your head …..”.


    You’re absolutely right except that in real life things (e.g., pleasure, feeding your head etc) don’t always work as one would like. I’ll give you a real example. I love sports and had always thought that playing some of them well, if not competitively, would give me a lot of pleasure. Some 3 yrs ago, I took on badminton and since then I have had a coach who, himself, is an excellent performer. I think I’ve gotten a little better with time except that I can’t follow his instructions as he wants me to do. I get so frustrated and almost every time I train I just end up thinking “I am not made for this, I want to give up, this is not working”. I have no doubt on the excellence of his pedagogy, it is just me. I think that he also gets frustrated except that he is very polite and always says: “you’re a good woman, you’re doing well”. I think that there are pleasures that might not be “reachable” by everybody. Just saying.

  2. We see those few fortunate people whose lives are perfect, in the sense that they can follow their passions 100% and be rewarded for them. Why can’t our lives be like that, too, we ask.

  3. Traveller

    See, today I expected my husband to return home from a trip. He just called and he’s not being able to make it. That’s real life: making plans for pleasure but then something happens and they have to be postponed. We need to be happy anyway.

  4. Z

    Y’all, I am not talking about little frustrations, I am talking about mega dysfunctional systems that take real engineering.

  5. The whole system is rotten, from top to bottom. We know it!

  6. Z

    My first thought is, I am not just lodging random complaints against the “system.”

    My second thought, however, is – yes. The issue is in fact that we are up against a or the system, and that is why it takes real thought, not just regular common sense, to figure out what to do.

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