The origins of anxiety were in that era when one was expected to become self-destructive and call it health, which was a frightening project to contemplate. I still consider myself unqualified to live as well as I did before that era, and I must still remember consciously, each day, that I am in fact qualified. I have said this before but it becomes clearer and clearer.
In those days one was also expected to experience turmoil and call it feeling, which meant one could not be Zen about anything for fear of being called cold. But I find that being Zen about things means being more, not less feeling. I have said this before as well, but actually reading Buddhist texts makes it yet clearer.
My fear of going into the department. My training, you will not be able to do this. The antidote, you can do this.
The idea of “stopping the story.” There are some stories I would like to stop, so I can insert others. It is possible to live yet better.