But really, I find everything is fine and people including me think of things in too fraught a way. If you have any trouble academia is not for you, or if it is not the only thing for you then you are a traitor to the cause, it is said. Why is loyalty coerced in that way?
What if it is one of the things that were for you, and it was the one of those you chose, and that was legitimate even if there were also other things for you? Can we not allow for that, or does it give the actor too much freedom?
What if in your life there were also other things to do, is that not also legitimate? Why is it that if you ever thought of other things, even riskier, more idealistic, less secure things, you must be considered a crass materialist — especially by people whose material situations are better than yours? Why all the exhortations?