Pace Reeducation, passing emotions are not necessarily, yea most likely not “the real you” (if such a thing exists), and they are certainly not more valid than more lasting feelings or considered views. And considered views, for their part, are not merely things one has been taught to believe — they are considered views, noget helt andet.
The idea that one should identify only with passing emotions and consider “false” anything more lasting or more thought-out will, if applied seriously, eradicate the sense of self.
I am not one of those who says “work” is less important than “life,” but I do think quality of life has to come before everything.
Research is what makes academic work run. It is what makes it interesting, and it is what gives you the feeling of progress and change, but it is also what makes everything else possible.
However, the idea that you should sacrifice quality of life for the sake of a research field is pernicious and it also fails: you must maintain the person who does the research.
Repetitions: the things that keep happening to me, and that dog me, always have to do with not countering or not having countered various forms of abuse or oppression enough. With having internalized them, and then struggling with them. With remaining silent.
The question is not how one is “dysfunctioning,” or how one is victimized, but how to maintain integrity. (That, integrity, is one of the main topics in this weblog from time immemorial, as we know.)
I need daily support on these matters so this post and list will serve for that. I also think academic work has to be approached from the point of view of reason. That should be obvious but is not if you work in a heavily politicized hall of mirrors and have had the supremely anti-intellectual Reeducative program following you.
If you allow yourself to make use of reason, and I do not mean false reason, then you can be calm. And for me calm is the most important thing: academic work became so fraught when so many extraneous things were transferred onto it. Formerly I would have said it was unwise not to remain in good shape to work, and to transfer extraneous things onto it. I would have said those things would make progress unlikely, and should not be done.