I can see it: YES I suffer from depression. I see it after having a day at work which, because of having visits from elsewhere which had to do directly with our department, was a GREAT DAY and reminded me of days at work elsewhere. It was so great that somehow the following day felt great, too. I could really live like this.
Suffering from depression is so frustrating because it dissipates as soon as anything good, or non-bad happens. This is why depression treatment doesn’t work, any better than time management works when your problem is project design (for example).
People finally say, now, that it is because of that that I should get away from here. But why would they not say it 30, 20 years ago, when I knew it and it was possible to do and still have a career? Why did they put on so much pressure to tough it out? They are frustrating.
My tarot reading says:
Card 1: How you feel about yourself »
You are about to reach, or are already enjoying, a period of total fulfillment, wholeness and satisfaction – the arrival of your heart’s desires.
You feel satisfied with what you have achieved and are enjoying the rewards for past efforts. A time of happy outcomes, material wealth and greater spiritual awareness.
Card 2: What you want most right now »
The Sun suggests that what you most want at this time is some joy and pleasure in your life, perhaps a long-needed holiday in the sun to re-charge your batteries.
You may have been through a period of challenges or a time of limbo and inactivity. The Sun heralds an ending to difficulties and a time to celebrate with friends and loved ones, a time of pleasure and the possibility of good news around children or the conception or birth of a longed-for baby.
Card 3: Your fears »
Lies and insecurity are likely to be prominent in your life at the moment – you are afraid of being deceived and feel that you are being misled. Trust your instincts and let them guide you away from those who may seem charming but are only out for their own gains.
Your turbulent emotions are muddying the waters – step back and try to find clarity of mind, although this may seem difficult. The Moon does help to illuminate the way and don’t worry, it will turn out alright in the end.
Card 4: What is going for you »
A time of absolute endings and brand new beginnings, your life is going through a period of great transformation.
Whilst change may be difficult, or even painful, you will pull through.
You will be free for a brand new phase in your life.
Card 5: What is going against you »
Life will seem hectic and full of challenges and you will find it hard to have the right perspective on things.
You may have a rival in love or at work. Think about whether the relationship or the job is really right for you.
This is a time for being calm and patient and life will soon have a sense of normality again.
Card 6: The likely outcome »
This is a time of good luck and fortune, perhaps after a period of struggle and heartache.
Good health, possibly after a time of illness, and good fortune will give you a new zest for life.
If considering a new love affair, new job, career change, or travel, then go for it.
You may also receive a gift or gifts!
Yet I do not feel that means I have to suddenly leave. My other card reading said changes were coming here. What will happen if I leave? I asked. You will become a workaholic, it said. What will happen if I stay? Growth, it said.
Dios quiera que así sea. (Note that this reading does not seem to answer the question I asked it at all.