Mais c’est si clair. I feel guilty and nervous about doing work because I know I will be interrupted as soon as I really start.
It all had to do with the self serving agenda of others. “Your work is just play, and you will see that relatively soon. Your real role is to serve me, and I am also the only one who can and will support you when your work becomes serious and you are sidelined from it. Serving me, not becoming expert at something that challenges me, is your first and only real duty — and everyone else already knows it is all you are capable of.”
This is why I feel people have a right to disrupt work. It is also why I do not like to start work — if I start, I will continue, and if I continue, I will experience a very great violation to get me to stop. To avoid repeating this experience of violation, it is best not to start.
Today I submitted an application for the PEN/Heim Translation Prize, in 18,000 words. Pachamama, Pallas Athena, Iansan, old father, all artificers, stand me now in good stead.
I knew that grandmother when she was in her eighties and nineties, mostly. She was a down to earth, practical person and very old, arthritic, wrinkled but she would look at herself sometimes and say all she really needed was a facelift.
Later I saw a picture of her taken in her earlier seventies, before I was born. She was still old but comparatively younger, and wore a beaded crimson blouse. She had the offhand, casually beatific look of a woman who knows she is beautiful without effort.
People talked about her marvelous personal characteristics and did not say she had been a beauty but I suspect she was. It would be why she was surprised to see herself now, and said all she really needed was a facelift.
Filed under News, Theories
I dreamed I had inherited a small apartment in Paris, and had been transported to it. I went outside to find out what neighborhood I was in and it was Montmartre. I said, “Well. I did not expect to inherit an apartment in Paris, and had I chosen my own apartment in Paris, I would not necessarily have chosen this neighborhood. But I live in Montmartre now, and it is a good thing.”
I remembered the dream in the afternoon, at the Palace of the Legion of Honor in San Francisco. I was looking at a book illustrated by Sonia Delaunay, of Blaise Cendrars’ La Prose du Transsibérien et de la Petite Jehanne de France. “Dis, Blaise, sommes-nous bien loin de Montmartre?” it asks.
“If fear of Trump is justified, and I believe it is, can someone please explain to me why the geniuses on the Democratic Platform Committee thought it was so god-damned important to play slippery games with the TPP plank? You all saw how Trump wielded that particular knife last night. Do you remember how we handed it to him? Dems voted it down last year, Obama put on enough pressure to get it through with mostly GOP votes.
“So why the HELL should Democrats own the TPP? To hell with Obama on this. Hillary says she opposes it. Why NOT put an exclamation point on it and adopt the Sanders plank on TPP? It’s not too late. And as an added bonus Pence voted for it.
“This isn’t about Hillary vs. Bernie. It’s about Hillary vs. Trump.”
Filed under Movement, News
I am going away for a month, ciao-ciao. When I get home, I will work in the office. I tend to avoid this but in fact there are many things at which I am more efficient there. I also tend to think the office and building are alienating places, and I have been right about this at times — but I will remove this gris-gris by inhabiting them.