Another thing I hate is composting. It is one thing to do it outside but I hate kitchens with a nasty tub of compost by the sink and another nasty fermenting compost pail. People wonder why I do not cook and eat out but it is because I do not like the smell of this stuff. In addition, usually the houses in which composting is done are also dusty and cluttered, and their inhabitants, self-righteous and moralistic. It is such an awful atmosphere, composting, and I am not a hippie. Down with farmers’ markets, down with yoga, down with bicycles and Caltrain, down with sensible shoes, I hate them all, and I-280, and women who don’t wear makeup, and chlorinated pools.
Filed under Banes, Poetry
It is a response to mistreatment I do not think I should recognize as such, but cannot help feeling is mistreatment. I try to convince myself that the mis-treater, so to speak, is justified, or that I should be tolerant, or that they have done the best they can, and I fail.
Then I think the next option is suicide. It is not legitimate to be angry or disappointed, or to notice mistreatment. Since I have failed to talk myself out of these perceptions and attitudes, my only option is suicide.
Exactly how this conclusion is reached, it would be interesting to understand. One element in the morass that I really would rather die (or perhaps kill) than act under pressure or against my better judgment.
Another element has to do with serving others. I should serve others, without desires of my own, not just eight hours a day but in every aspect of life, or I should die, I appear to have learned.
A different way of looking at it is to consider how deeply angry I have been since early childhood. I am angry enough to reject someone, or to kill them if I am not allowed to reject them. Since those things are not possible, I would prefer to die.
La opción filológica de Henríquez Ureña se debía en parte a esta alternativa: mientras que los científicos se habían equivocado al argumentar a base de hechos empíricos, tales como la mezcla racial, los filólogos tenían una base empírica mucho más precisa en la lengua. La herencia del Imperio español en las Américas era haber dejado una lengua que unificaba a los grupos diversos que habían formado una gran comunidad gracias a ella.
“From that Ortiz article” said the label on the relevant scrap of paper, and now I must find “that Ortiz article.”
This is Marjorie Perloff’s very useful website and we should all use it for reference.
I thought I was not getting a great deal done at those archives, but upon review, I did, and would also have gotten more out of what I was doing had I realized, while doing it, that I was in fact doing a great deal.
I feel very far away but there are two things, one related to the garden and one to the house/car, that I must and also will take care of at home.