Remnants of that article draft

***there might be alternative universities, this, that.

***adjunct women wildcatting*** …. inadequate … the ACCOUNTABILITY LARB idea is better (asking administrators to be accountable)

******reeducate public: teachers are doing it – this is how we can rebuild idea of public and work to public good

Nair: What if we foregrounded movements, not the cult of personality and celebrity? What if we held on to abstract concepts? [use this later) Margolis Mike essay is a download;

**** People younger than me do not remember what it is to have rights any more than the undergraduates care about voting **** …Those left have less interest in shared governance than undergraduates have in AAUP/shared governance antiquated because old, and is collective bargaining enough of an update … I am an outsider because old, because not from US, and because still idealistic like a graduate student. But mostly because of coming from a place where corporatization has most aggressively taken over. AAUP comes from other crisis (Veblen) BUT … also presupposes stable 60s situation … needed are different connections / solidarity with parents / students / etc.

ALSO: mark bosquet says it is women contingents wildcatting who will turn the tide. Based on NC teachers strike & the fact that most professors are contingents who are women. I add that it has to be for education, not jobs or money. AND we have to start supporting each other, not being individualist careerists.

ALSO: Jonathan Snow’s ideas are fine and everything, but there are also Yasmin Nair’s: she talks about movements and abstract concepts, not just strategies.

*NAPOLITANO: she should be supporting the university, asking for public funding of a public institution, not depending upon charity and philanthropy and “public-private partnerships” It’s effectively the public education version of the asinine argument about how, once we destroy the social safety net, private and philanthropic organizations will take up the slack.. It is like saying churches will take up the slack on welfare. had a similar first reaction: “The point of fact is that public funding at the level it was at is unlikely to be restored”— that’s not a point of fact, it’s a point of politics. We need to get state and national-level candidates elected who understand how to convince boards of trustees of the importance of state universities.

Works not directly cited

Seale, how the university became neoliberal (CHE)

del Gandio, “Neoliberalism and the academic-industrial complex” Truthout 2010

Giroux, Henry. “Cultural Studies and the Politics of Public Pedagogy: Making the Political More Pedagogical,” Policy Futures in Education, Volume 2, Numbers 3 & 4, 2004, 494-502. Also Parallax 10:2 (2004), pp. 73-89. Quotation from 2004: 494 … is on 73-74 in the Parallax version

—. 2016. Public pedagogy and manufactured identities in the age of selfie culture.



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La liste

These are some things I may do to expand my health program:

Magic 10 yoga poses.

Givamukti yoga.

Tumeric with black pepper.

Reduce caffeine.


Swimming, push-ups, backbends, locust pose, squats.


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Les articles du jour

Union busting is democracy busting.

Inverted totalitarianism: contexts of the entrepreneurial university.

Nair on going actually radical.


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Insight du jour — once again

I am so tired of having to psychoanalyze myself and also of finding that I keep coming to the same conclusions yet do not progress, or progress so slowly.

In any case my insight, new for today is that a great part of my struggle here has to do with not having come here by my own choice. I had to shut down my better judgment, de-prioritize myself to do it, and this makes it difficult to gain access to self. How to change that, how to put self first regardless, how to own the situation, how to be in this atmosphere which inspires withdrawal for its own reasons, is the question. But part of it is not having the centeredness you can have in anything when you feel it is yours.

I learned that abusers stay in your head. If you have to keep struggling or worrying, it is that this relationship has distorted your mind. There was a long period here, for instance, where uppermost in my mind were my parents, every hour–their suffering, how could I remedy it; my inadequacy and uncaringness in their eyes, what could I do to become worthy of them, and how could I demonstrate love in a way they could believe?

I decided there isn’t reason to doubt my background of family abuse. If fear of extreme violence and desire to get to a safe place are always dancing at the back of my mind (unless I do get to a place that feels safe, which is most of the world but not places with the characteristics of Maringouin and Vichy State), is there any doubt?

The family always intruded upon work in terribly inappropriate ways, and had terrible problems that needed resolution, but would then expect me to be fine, not worry, and “go on with my life” as though nothing had happened. This continues in some form now. It is: they create a violent or otherwise heartrending incident, get service on it, but then  expect me to recover as quickly as they have. This is why the “just go on with your life” dictum is so hurtful, and feels so much like abandonment.

The trauma was realizing that my father, the apparently less-bad abuser, was abusive too. I don’t think there really is doubt about this and I do note that my brother now seems to consider that it is a gift when he does not “say mean things” (or perhaps, has them just below the surface). But what I feel bad about, the worst about in life, is that I rejected, destroyed my academic career. I rejected it when I realized how troubled he was. It was a traumatic realization and I needed to work with it.

Where and what am I, and what do I have the right to say? These things become clearer in non-abusive spaces, where what is reflected back to me is the light. But in the murk, I do not dare exist or be for myself, only to serve, unless as backup I have a lot of money in the bank (that is why having money is so important metaphorically).

But all the things I did, including the self-destructive things, were attempts to have self and voice. I would love to feel the way I know others do, their feet on the ground, no executioner at their back. I would love to feel my voice coming right up from my stomach, all the way out my mouth, this is me. I would love to feel my mind clear and present, instead of shut down waiting for the next blow.

The problem is not allowing for self, not acting for self, not permitting conviction. I was interested in environment, economics, law, because there I thought I could act with conviction. People never think, initially, I should do these things but when I begin to speak the willing are able see my level of passion and how well informed I am.

The other reason I thought I should go into these things was that I thought I could do them even in bad circumstances (I could put them over quality of life). I realize here that I am making a fairly good argument here for leaving my job, giving up on doing what I came to do, but most fundamentally I am making an argument for voice and self.

And this has been a meditation, and it is good to meditate, and when one considers that I woke up this morning wondering what hotline to call. I am just not sure what I would like to do.It is an unfamiliar feeling but I long for care. These things that sound attractive:

1/ Die. But not before my father does, or before I go traveling slowly around the world and stay somewhere if I find work, but if not join some ascetic ashram.

2/ Go to law school at LSU (THAT is something I really should have done, long ago, although I would not have gotten to live in Oregon then) — although it is too late in my life to develop the career I could have developed had I started 22 years ago, when I wanted to.

3/ Get, or have a job in current field, but at an R1.

4/ Get some really interesting think tank, or movement job.

5/ I have fantasies about going to a sanitarium, some sort of in-patient anti-depressive resort, where you could do analysis and yoga and research. I think of hospitals but people go on resort vacations, beach vacations, yoga retreats, sabbaticals, and writing retreats.

Keywords: care – voice – self – faith in self – self-love – not caretaking – recognizing abusiveness – standing up to abuse – voice – self – faith in self – self-love – love of work – respect for own work.

Mantra: much of my father most insistent advice was wrong (only the things he said when he dropped his mask were right)




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Abusers stay in your head

How to get them out.


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The new domestic violence resources

I learned that the national domestic violence hotline is the best one, and the New Orleans family justice center is the best place. I learned about this book, Why does he do that, that is the most serious one I have seen.

Most importantly, I learned about Creative Interventions.


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Language and the entrepreneurial university

I told you language was key.

Dispossession, infantilization, and depoliticization are central to the discourse of neoliberalism in which language is central to moulding identities, desires, values, and social relationships. Within this fog of market-induced paralysis, language is subject to the laws of the capitalism, reduced to a commodity, and subject to the “tyranny of the moment, . . . emaciated, impoverished, vulgarized, and squeezed out of the meanings it was resumed to carry” (Bauman & Donskis, 2013, p. 46). As Doreen Massey (2013) observes, within the discourse of neoliberalism, the public are urged to become highly competitive consumers and customers, while taught that the only interests that matter are individual interests, almost always measured by monetary considerations. Under such circumstances, social and communal bonds are shredded, important modes of solidarity attacked, and a war is waged against any institution that embraces the values, practices, and social relations endemic to a democracy. Neoliberal public pedagogy, in this instance, functions as what Hannah Arendt (1968) calls a form of “totalitarian education,” one whose aim “has never been to instill convictions but to destroy the capacity to form any” (p. 468). One outcome has been a heightening of the discourse of narcissism and the retreat from public life and any viable sense of worldliness.


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